Getting those fucking goosebumps

cos can’t motherfucking wait

You’re back and forth

I waited outside
Then you took me in the room
And you offered up the truth
My eyes crawling up the window to the wall
From dusk ’til dawn
Let me talk to ’em
Let me talk to ’em all

Full time, you talk your money up
While it’s living in a coal mine
Tall time to call your Ma
Hey Ma, hey Ma
Tall vote, you know you mope it up
Well, you wanted it your whole life
You’re back and forth with light

– Hey Ma, Bon Iver

–

So much upset

A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage

Damn it’s been such a long while

Come down from the mountain, you have been gone too long

Lie to me if you will
At the top of Beringer Hill
Tell me anything you want
Any old lie will do
Call me back to you
Back to you
Back to you
Back to you
Back to you
Back to you

Ragged Wood, Fleet Foxes

Wolves

I was following the
I was following the pack
All swallowed in their coats
With scarves of red tied ’round their throats
To keep their little heads
From fallin’ in the snow
And I turned ’round and there you go
And, Michael, you would fall
And turn the white snow red as strawberries
In the summertime

White Winter Hymnal, Fleet Foxes

—

I heard this as a cover on a Pentatonix Christmas album today. Dafug???

The man with the slug eyebrow unpeeled the top of his coffee and let the steam rise to occupy the silence.

This week has been slow, and so besides scouring the Internet for every single discount that exists in the world, binge-ing on too much carbs (because the mouth inevitably wanders when there are few things to occupy the mind), and forever-cleaning/mopping, I’ve also been reading.

What luxury!

I found this gem of a short story by Zadie Smith.

—

And all three women quickly learned not to try to talk to Finch about the personal. Finch might know the height and weight of your husband, his favorite wines, but she shrank back from any truly personal discussion, sexual or otherwise. Finch had no emotional vocabulary. “I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters for their thoughts,” John Locke had said, and Finch kept this and a rattlebag of other personally chosen daily motivational quotes pinned up around the house, as her therapists had recommended. She believed in the sovereignty of other people! She didn’t want to be cut open and examined. She didn’t want to do it to anybody else, either.

– The Trials of Finch, Zadie Smith

 

Fold the map and mend the gap

Came in to work wanting (but not ready) to write so I plugged in to some magic and this never fails to hit me over and over and over forever

Sharing smoke
In the stair up off the hot car lot
Sun shine hard on the video spot, hm, mm, mm
Sure as any living dream
It’s not all then what it seems
And the whole thing’s hauled away

A womb, an empty robe, enough
You’re rolling up, you’re holding it, you’re fabric now
Para-mind, para-mind

– 29 #Strafford APTS, Bon Iver

Who are you kidding

I’m really done here now!

Second-guessing

There is no way to ever, ever be prepared enough for confrontation and departure.